


keep your head up (i'll lay my heart down)

by sassywriterchick



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, pure fluff, texting buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 23:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16417703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassywriterchick/pseuds/sassywriterchick
Summary: To: Lover Boy[10:25 PM]I was thinking, I could help you with your relationship with this girl? You don’t need to tell me any personal information or anything, I could just give you advice. If you wanted it.From: Lover Boy[10:27 PM]your contact name has officially been changed to fairy godmother.(or: jake texts the wrong number by accident and amy decides to help him get together with the girl he obviously really likes)





	keep your head up (i'll lay my heart down)

**Author's Note:**

> it did something weird with the formatting so if there's any typos i'M SORRY
> 
> also thanks to annika for letting me ramble about this for hours last night until I finished it

     

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [9:30 AM]

      hey so do u maybe want to talk about tonite? 

 

      To: Unknown Number

      [9:31 AM]

      I think you have the wrong number.

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [9:32 AM]

      wait so you’re saying this isn’t kayla?

 

      To Unknown Number

      [9:33 AM]

      No, this isn’t Kayla. Looks like someone gave you the wrong number.

 

      “Is Amy _texting_ someone?” Gina asks loudly, peering over Amy’s shoulder.  She always has a habit of popping up in the most unexpected places.

Amy jumps about a foot in the air and promptly shuts her phone in the nearest possible drawer.

      “On her _personal_ phone?” Gina adds, helpfully. The personal phone was something that Gina and the others never ceased teasing her about. At first, they’d thought Amy was hiding something from them until she told them the reasoning behind it.

      She had gotten the advice from her first ever Sergeant.

      _“You ever want to survive this place?”_ The older woman had said, “ _then keep two phones. That way you know if it’s a personal emergency or a work emergency.”_

Amy considers that woman (wherever she may be) to be her first ever mentor, so _of course_ she had two phones. That way she could also keep her work line clear for a real emergency. Except that her coworkers seemed to think it was hilarious to send gifs of kittens in the group chat instead of actual crime info (thanks so much Jake).

      “It was just someone who had the wrong number,” Amy says quickly, before she can really think about it.

      “Oh Amy,” Gina says, shaking her head slowly. “You say that like it was supposed to make it sound _better_.”

      Amy makes a face at her.

      That’s when Jake approaches them. He doesn’t have the perp he was chasing down with him, so Amy assumes that his bust didn’t go quite as perfectly as he’d bragged. He’s holding his (solitary) phone and frowning down at it.     

  “What are we talking about?”

      “Amy’s pathetic life,” Gina supplies helpfully.

      “It is not pathetic - “ Amy protests but Jake merely nods like this is a factual statement. “I can’t stand any of you people,” she says, spinning her desk chair around.

      “Gina I think you gave me the wrong number, are you sure this is what - “

      “Jake, I am _not_ your personal assistant.”

      She doesn’t check her personal phone until later that night. Really, maybe Gina is right. Amy _is_ pathetic. She has a phone for work and a personal phone, and half the time she forgets that the personal phone exists. The wrong number text had been a _surprise_ , for god’s sake. It was perhaps time to resort out her priorities.

      There’s only two messages: one is a text reminder from her doctor’s office and the other one if from the unknown number from earlier.

     

      From: Unknown Number

      [9:34 AM]

      no no, i wasn’t trying to hit on kayla. kayla is my dad’s gf and she was supposed to tell me when he’s next flying thru.

 

      Amy shouldn’t text back. _Pathetic_ , Gina’s voice says in her mind.

      _Ha,_ Amy thinks back. _I’ll show you. I can have a conversation with someone outside of work that’s not family or Kylie._

 

      To: Unknown Number

      [8:02 PM]

      Sorry for assuming things. Sorry about Kayla. Sounds rough.

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [8:10 PM]

      ah no you’re good. for the record tho, the ladies love me.

     

      To: Unknown Number

      [8:11 PM]

      Have you ever heard of humility?

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [8:17 PM]

      only nerds know big words like humility

 

      To: Unknown Number

      [8:20 PM]

      That’s not even a big word.

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [8:22 PM]

      send me a big word

 

      To: Unknown Number

      [8:24 PM]

      Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

     

      From: Unknown Number

      [8:30 PM]

      i see what u did there.

 

 

 

      One failed case and a day later: Amy feels like throwing something at a wall. Or maybe something out a window. Or herself out that window. Or Jake. Yes, that’ll do. She’ll throw _Jake_ out a window.

      “Do you want something Peralta?” She snaps, when she notices Jake is staring at her instead of filling out his arrest report. His successful arrest report, because _of course_ he was successful today. (She’s conveniently forgotten about his failure yesterday.)

      “Only to ask if I should evacuate the premises because you look like you’re about to melt something with your laser eyes.” He’s clearly trying to be funny, his mouth quirked up in that infuriating smirk. Even his posture speaks of relaxation, leaned back with his shoulders slumped. _Lucky him._

      “Oh shut up,” Amy snaps. It’s harsher than she usually is with Jake and he recoils slightly in surprise. She allows herself to feel exactly two seconds of guilt and then refocuses on the task at hand. She can do this. She’s a Santiago, after all.

      Her concentration lasts for about three more seconds until her phone buzzes.

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [1:42 PM]

      i realize this is a weird question to ask bc we’re not really friends but r u a girl?

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [1:42 PM]

      not in a creepy way. i need advice on a girl situation and all my other girl friends know too much.

 

      Amy looks up. Rosa and Charles are out on a stakeout, Holt is securely in his office, Terry is filling out his paperwork and Jake is texting someone on his phone. Surely no one would mind if she did some texting of her own. Jake wasn’t the only one could bend the rules.

      It’s with a sort of defiance that she continues their conversation.

     

      From: Unknown Number

      [1:43 PM]

      if it makes it seem less creepy, ur name is mary poppins in my phone.

 

      To: Unknown Number

      [1:44 PM]

      You saved my number?

 

      From: Unknown Number

      [1:44 PM]

      i promise i’m not a creeper you just seemed like a nice person to talk to

 

      Amy hesitates, before adding his number as a contact into her phone. She looks for a moment at his real number…it almost looks familiar? She brushes that notion aside, it’s not like she knows that many people’s _numbers_. She’s barely memorized her mother’s.

      Besides, she was a cop. If this person tried to pull anything with her…well he’d find out the consequences the hard way. Amy Santiago wasn’t someone who could be messed with.

 

      To: Creeper?

      [1:46 PM]

      Okay. Shoot me your question.

 

      From: Creeper?

      [1:46 PM]

      this girl i like is really upset today and i’m just making it worse. what should i do?

 

      Ah, just Amy’s luck. The only boy who’s been even remotely talking to her out of work likes someone else. She changes his contact name almost immediately to something more fitting the circumstances

. If this was a romantic comedy, Amy would be the quirky one that both of the love interests loved as a friend.

      (The character that usually ended up alone.)

      (AKA, story of her life.)

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [1:48 PM]

      Ask her what’s wrong once she’s cooled off a bit. If it’s something you can help with, help her with it. If not, just give her some space.

 

      She shuts her phone in her desk drawer after that. She takes a few deep breaths while massaging her temples. The case file in front of her looks like absolute gibberish and that’s not even considering the fact that the perp _got away._ That she practically let him get away with her sloppy detective work. She goes to get another cup of coffee, even though it’s probably a bad idea at this point. It’s something warm to hold, at least. She couldn’t imagine the level of teasing that would ensue if she started drinking hot chocolate on the job.

      “Hey Santiago?” Jake looks a little less relaxed than before, but that infuriating smirk is never truly gone. She’s only seen him angry once, and that was when a police officer was trying to help his friend escape persecution. (She had been surprised to see that he did, in fact, have a range of emotions.)

      “My lasers have been deactivated,” she mumbles. “In case you were wondering, you don’t need to evacuate.”

      “I was actually just going to ask if you need any help? Not that you’re not a perfectly capable detective, but a fresh pair of eyes might be of assistance?”

       She’s too frustrated to note his adult vocabulary, instead disturbed by how much this _appeals_ to her. It’s not a bad idea. It feels almost insulting to accept Jake’s help but… well for once he didn’t look like he was rubbing it in her face. He almost looked like he genuinely wanted to help. His entire posture is open, eyes almost sparkling a little bit.

      (Maybe she needs five more cups of coffee. With shots.)

      “Sure,” she says, handing him the case file. “I had a lead on him this morning, but he got away. Now I have no idea where he could be hiding out.”

      “It says here his favorite restaurant is the burger place by that seedy gas station?” Jake frowns. “How did you get that information?”

      “Ex-girlfriend,” Amy says. “I asked the staff and they hadn’t seen him for several months. He’s been on to us at every turn.”

      “Doesn’t mean that it still can’t be a good place to start,” Jake says, standing up. “Besides, you can buy me dinner after I solve _your_ case.” It’s accompanied by a blinding smile, which Amy can’t help but return.

      “Oh in your dreams Peralta,” Amy rolls her eyes. “Just because I’m letting you ‘help me out’ doesn’t mean you get to take all the credit for the literal months of work I’ve put down.”

      Two hours they find the perp in a gas station near the burger place almost entirely by accident. He doesn’t get away again because Jake is blocking the other exit, slamming him down into the ground and grinning up at her.

      “Looks like you owe me dinner,” he says, as he fastens the handcuffs about the perp’s wrists.

      Sometimes she forgets that police work is intended to have two people at all times. (That, and sometimes she forgets just how good of a cop Jake is.)

      She forgets to check her phone until she’s almost about to go to bed, head aching with exhaustion from the day.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [2:05 PM]

      it worked. thx.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:13 PM]

      You’re welcome. Did you ask her out?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:15 PM]

      its kind of complicated bc i like her a lot but she hates me? idk.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:16 PM]

      I doubt she hates you. You can’t always predict what people are thinking. Maybe she’s just pretending to hate you.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:17 PM]

      maybe.

     

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:18 PM]

      I’m not going to get arrested for talking to you, am I?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:19 PM]

      not unless ur committing a crime.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:20 PM]

      im realizing now u meant other things. i’m thirty three.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:21 PM]

      I’m twenty-nine.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:25 PM]

      I was thinking, if you wanted of course… I could help you with this relationship with this girl? You don’t need to tell me any personal information or anything, I could just give you advice. If you wanted it.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:27 PM]

      your contact name has officially been changed to fairy godmother.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [10:28 PM]

      Ha ha. You can tell my more about this dream girl tomorrow, then. I have to be at work early.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [10:29 PM]

      gnite fairy godmother

 

      “Oh _wow_ ,” Gina says. “The personal phone is out on the desk today. Does that mean you’re waiting for a gentlemen caller?” She’s leaning against Amy’s desk and Amy is _really_ trying to focus on this paperwork. She just needs Jake’s signature now.

      “Maybe,” Amy says, trying for elusiveness.

      “Oh honey,” Gina says. “Nice try.”

      “Whatever,” Amy says. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t you have work to do?”

      “Oh but this is _so_ much more interesting,” Gina says. “Why don’t you let me try and set you up with someone again?”

      “Last time you tried to set me up it was a nightmare,” Amy says. “My dating life is just fine, thank you very much.”

      Really, her dating life consists of binge watching Netflix TV shows and sad dates that her mother sets up for her. Gina can’t know that. Neither can Jake, who’s leaning across his desk to listen in on this conversation.

      “ _Are_ you waiting for a text from a boy?” he asks.

      “Oh my god,” Amy says, cheeks burning. She slams the phone in her drawer. “Happy?”

      Gina saunters off. Jake scoops up his car keys and turns for the door.

      “Before you go,” Amy says, determinedly not looking at him, “I need you to sign this.”

      He signs it way more quickly than she would have done, but he doesn’t leave right away. He lingers, his presence almost more of a sound than a sight.

      “Hey,” he says suddenly. Amy looks up. “I didn’t mean to - I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”

      “Well great job,” Amy says in that sweet voice she reserves for _true_ annoyance. This time the guilt lingers for slightly longer and then, “Sorry. I just don’t like how my dating life is a constant source of amusement for everyone.”

      “I wouldn’t say constant,” Jake says, winking. “Just occasionally. Charles? You ready?”

      She’s still glowering at her computer when she hears her phone buzz inside her desk drawer. She waits until Gina is securely in the break room to text anything back.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:15 AM]

      how do u tell if a girl is really annoyed or she’s fake annoyed

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:25 AM]

      Context clues, I guess. Were you teasing her about something she’s self conscious about?

 

      “Loveeeeer boy?” Gina croons, appearing from seemingly nowhere. Amy jumps about a foot in the air.

      “Have you heard of such a thing as _privacy?_ ” Amy hisses.

      “There’s no such thing as privacy when you’re holding your phone like that,” Gina says. “You’re practically asking for someone to look over your shoulder. Who’s Lover Boy, huh?”

      In hindsight, maybe Amy should have picked a different name for this mysterious man she’s been texting. Then again, it came with it’s side benefits.

      This next moment is one of the most satisfying moments of Amy’s entire career.

      “None of your business,” she tells Gina, and shuts the phone back into the drawer.

 

      She waits until she’s off of work to look at her personal phone (mostly to rub it in Gina’s face when she can’t get anymore gossip than she needs) and spends as long as possible reviewing her brother’s latest message about his daughter’s preschool project before she goes back to their conversation. To show herself that she’s not attached to the situation, nope. Not at all.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:30 AM]

      well she’s kind of self conscious about herself w/ other ppl sometimes. our colleagues tease her a lot and i kind of jumped on board w/ it sometimes.

 

 _You and me both,_ Amy thought. Turns out she had more in common with Lover Boy’s girl than she thought.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [2:30 PM]

      according to my friend she’s apparently seeing someone else now

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [6:32 PM]

      Who?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [6:33 PM]

      idk. she won’t tell us. we’ve teased her about past bfs.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [6:34 PM]

      Does she ever tease you back? Seem to enjoy your interactions?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:45 PM]

      srry i was drowning my sorrows. or am? the night is still young.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:50 PM]

      Wow, giving up that soon?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:51 PM]

      no no no. ive liked thsi girl since like what feels like forever

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:51 PM]

      i mean she’s like perfect. u know? smart and funny and pretty

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:52 PM]

      Then why are you getting drunk right now?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:52 PM]

      bc shes dating someone else again

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:53 PM]

      Again?

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:54 PM]

      ppl r always trying to set her up w/ some boy. idk y, but now ive missed my shot

 

      Amy’s curled up on her couch with Harry Potter playing in the background and feels less lonely for whatever reason. It’s nice to feel like there’s someone else out there that could be completely _failing_ in the romance department.

      For whatever reason, she _really_ wants Lover Boy to succeed. Every rational thought is telling her that growing weirdly attached to some boy through text message is a stupid thing to do, but at the same time she couldn’t imagine giving up the easiness that’s sprung between them. It’s simpler than any friendship she’s had before.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:57 PM]

      You don’t know that yet. There’s always a chance, and you can’t give up just yet. Tomorrow you should tell me more about her, when you’re sober.

 

      She goes to bed at a reasonable time, but it still takes two alarm clocks to wake her up. She has five drunk texts from Jake on her work phone which she ignores, and instead focuses on the personal phone.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [1:30 AM]

      okay did i tell you that she smells like dreams

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [1:30 AM]

      dreAMS mySTERY INTERNET WOMAN

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [1:45 AM]

      she also is like rlly funny. did i say that? nobody else thinks shes funny but i could listen to her talk all day long

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [2:30 AM]

      do u know how to delete messages from someone elses phone?

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [6:45 AM]

      What did you send her?

 

      She barely scans through the texts from Jake (something about smelling meadows? What was it with boys and their noses?) before she texts him back.

     

      To: Jake Peralta

      [6:50 AM]

      You sure you can handle coming into work? Need me to take over your cases?

 

      She’s feeling overwhelmingly cheerful today. One, true love is possible (look at Lover Boy and the girl that was like her) and she was going to get to watch Jake Peralta with an extreme hangover _all day._

She makes a strong cup of coffee and settles in to watch the morning news.

     

      From: Jake Peralta

      [7:35 AM]

      dont b ridiculous santiago in ur dreams

 

      She rolls her eyes and begins to plot all the ways she’s going to make his hangover life miserable today. It involves loud noises, revolting smells, and a particularly irritating case that she thinks she can get Holt to make him work with her on.

       Although, she has to admit that she’s impressed he’s awake this early. Maybe he hadn’t slept at all?

      Her personal phone buzzes. Finally, something she’s _interested_ in.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:36 AM]

      false alarm, she didnt read into it

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:38 AM]

      I wouldn’t worry about. My colleague drunk texts me all the time. Including last night.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:39 AM]

      hav to sympathize w/ him i feel like death. were his drunk texts as good as mine?

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:39 AM]

      No. He’s just an idiot, really. Probably will roll into work half an hour late because he was sleeping with some random person from the bar. He always does this. I just wish he’d stop sometimes and give me a break really.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:40 AM]

      why do you care so much

 

      Amy freezes. She’s too distracted to even notice that he didn’t use those childish abbreviations for once, her heart stopping in her chest. He’s absolutely right of course: why _doe_ s he care? She does, in some weird part of herself that she hasn’t examined before.

      She really, really cares that Jake was probably out having a one night stand the night before.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:43 AM]

      srry if that was too forward. hangover

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:47 AM]

      w/ this girl i like, i kept trying to deny it over and over again. it took me years to figure it out bc emotions are confusing and i still dont know what she means to me. so if ur going thru a crisis im here.

 

      (Texting back feels like an acknowledgment, so she ignores it.)

      She is almost late to work, breezing in about the same time as Jake. He, predictably, looks like death. Which she doesn’t care about. She doesn’t care that the shadows under his eyes look as if they could swallow him whole, doesn’t care that his hands appear to be shaking slightly and for once he looks _nervous._

      “Amy,” he says, before they can leave the parking garage. _Why_ did they have to arrive at the same time, today of all days?

      Not that it mattered.

      _Lover boy doesn’t know me._

 “Yeah?”

      “I was hoping you could give me some advice,” Jake says, scratching the back of his head. “You know. Because you’re wise and all that.”

      “What kind of advice?”

      “How to talk to someone advice. I think I said something wrong this morning, but I like talking to this person, and I don’t want to screw everything up -”

      Amy bristles. She was sure he _had_ probably said something wrong to whatever person’s bed he had rolled out of this morning. Well, she wasn’t about to be apart of it. Not that she cared. Amy Santiago didn’t care.

      “Look Peralta,” she snaps, “I’m not about to start mixing our personal and work lives because you screwed up with someone you met when you were drunk off your mind. And also? Stop drunk texting me. It’s not cute. I’m sure you did say something wrong, so maybe you should just apologize instead of talking to _other people_ about it.”

      She stomps off, not even registering what she’s done until they’re in the morning briefing and Jake _still_ isn’t there.

      “Has anyone seen Peralta?” Holt asks. Amy’s about to say that she _has_ seen him when he stumbles in. He looks almost no different from this morning, but weirdly…damp?

      “What happened to you?” Rosa demands.

      “Splashed some water on my face,” he mumbles. “You know. Reopen the senses.”

      “And you needed to soak your hair because…?”

      “I was really tired, _okay_?”

      “Enough,” Holt barks. “We will get back to the matter at hand…”

      Amy approaches Jake approximately three hours later, when she feels like she can’t stand it anymore. She had been unfair, she knew she had. She was just…upset. For whatever reason. A reason totally unrelated to whether or not she cared. (Of course.)

      “Jake,” she says. He looks surprised and she reminds herself that she should probably use his real name more often. “Look, about earlier…”

      “I get it,” he says. “Sorry. About overstepping personal and work. I just didn’t realize I was working with _two_ Rosas.”

      “I’m sorry,” Amy says again. “I just had a rough morning. I took it out on you.”

      Jake smiles at her. “You’re forgiven,” he says. “Now, can you go and be loud somewhere else? My head feels like it’s filled with nails.”

      (She makes sure to drop a stapler onto the floor less than five minutes later. Just because he’s made her feel guilty didn’t mean she couldn’t have a little fun too.)

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:15 AM]

      idk what i messed up but shes rlly mad at me. drunk texts apparently a bigger deal than i thought. and i rlly didnt mean to offend u earlier, im sorry.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [12:10 PM]

we’re golden fairy godmother. false alarm. but i rlly hope you can forgive me for what i said earlier, it was crossing a line.

 

      “Who’re you texting?” Jake asks.

      Amy looks up at him. It’s rare that they take their lunch breaks together, but their schedules synched up and now she has a closer proximity to Jake than she thinks she wants to. From this close, she can see each line around his eyes that radiates when he smiles. She likes his smile, but that’s more about his mouth than _him._

      Lover Boy was ridiculous, she thought. _Ridiculous_. She didn’t like Jake Peralta.

      “A mysterious fellow,” Amy says.

      Jake raises an eyebrow. “More mysterious than the dude with the mesh underpants?”

      “How did you hear about that?” Amy demands. “I told Gina that in _confidence_.”

      “Hey - I’m just proud of you Santiago. It turns out you’re more exciting that I thought you were.”

      “Title of my sex tape!” Amy says. “HA! You can’t take back that now!”

      Jake bursts into laughter and Amy thinks about how she likes how it shapes his eyes and mouth. About how she likes how it shakes through his entire frame and makes her stomach feel all warm and fuzzy. About how maybe she hopes that she could do something that would make him laugh like that again. Anything to make him laugh like that again.

      Oh shit.

     

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:15 PM]

      Okay, so earlier you may have had a point.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:18 PM]

      welcome to my personal hell

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:20 PM]

      but maybe we can help each other? w/ this romantic hell i mean

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:22 PM]

      That sounds like a good plan. Although I’m still not sure if this is anything. It might just be because you planted that idea in my head. I need to sleep on it.

 

      Knowing that she likes Jake is like knowing there’s a ticking bomb in the room. One, he thinks she’s dating Lover Boy (as does everyone else in the precinct) and two, he’s an _idiot._ How could she like him? This was not an Amy Santiago thing to do. Liking Jake Peralta wasn’t an Amy Santiago specialty.

      Of course, Holt it sending them on an overnight stakeout together. _Of course._ It’s as if the universe decides the most proper way to make fun of her is to shove her into Jake’s face at every ample opportunity.

     

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:30 AM]

      We’re going to be spending an extended amount of time together for our job. Help.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:31 AM]

      tell me about it sis. i swear, my boss is out to kill me. like we often work together but this is a more personal thing…

     

      To: Lover Boy

      [9:32 AM]

      Same here. Honestly. How do you think I should act around him?

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [9:33 AM]

      be urself but w/ a dash of flirting

 

      Hours later they’re sitting in the car and Amy can feel the ringing silence between them like it’s a real, tangible thing. How did you cross this bridge? The bomb is ticking louder. Amy is really, _really_ terrible at keeping a secret.

      “So,” Jake says. “How are you and Lover Boy?”

      Yes. First order of business. To clear up whatever Jake thought was happening between her and the mysterious ‘Lover Boy’.

      “Will you please not tell Gina this?” Amy asks.

      “Uh-oh.”

      “I’m serious. I want to see you nod. Okay. I was never really dating Lover Boy. It’s just a name I gave this dude as an inside joke. Seriously. There’s nothing between us.”

      It was the easiest explanation anyways. It doesn’t even really feel like a lie. Sure, Lover Boy doesn’t know what his contact name is, but Amy doesn’t think he’d mind anyways.

      “Oh,” Jake says. “I won’t tell Gina.”

      “She would have a field day with it,” Amy says. Her personal phone buzzes.

      “Oh wow,” Jake says, slipping his phone into pocket. “Taking the personal phone on a work date? I mean stake out? I mean occasion?”

      “Why are you being weird?” Amy asks, rolling her eyes. “And yes. This is the number my mother contacts me at.”

      Jake laughs, and Amy likes the sound too much to care that it’s directed at her own expense.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:45 PM]

      SHE SAID THAT SHE’S NOT DATING ANYONE

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [8:46 PM]

      Be yourself with a dash of flirting. ;)

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:47 PM]

      was that a winky face?

 

      Amy smiles and puts her phone away. Okay. Time to get her flirt…on? She tucks her hair behind her ears and turns to Jake. She could do this. Flirting she meant. Flirting was something that she, as a grown badass woman, could do.

      Liking Jake wasn’t something she could put in a list. She couldn’t make a list of all the things she’d say to him because he was simply _Jake._ He refused to be contained in a list like all of the other boys she’d had a thing for. (Maybe that was a hint of _something more_.)

      He smiles back at her. “Why do you look so happy?”

      “I don’t know,” she says, a bit too loudly. “Don’t you love stake outs? And hanging out with people? Friends?”

      “Amy,” he says.

      “Sorry I’m being weird,” she rambles.

      “Amy - “

      “I just don’t know how to say - “

      “Amy,” Jake hisses, “It’s our guy.”

     

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:27 PM]

      That was a fiasco.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:28 PM]

      omg tell me abt it. maybe were doomed to be alone.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:29 PM]

      I don’t know. Maybe I overthought this and I don’t like him after all. You kind of planted that idea in my head.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:30 PM]

      well, what do u like abt him?

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:31 PM]

      He makes me laugh. He’s actually a really good guy.  I really, really like the way he laughs. I don’t know to explain it. With everyone else it’s like they fit in this nice little box, but he exceeds all my expectations. I don’t know, I just came to this realization yesterday.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:32 PM]

      i think you just answered ur own question, o wise one.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:33 PM]

      What went wrong on your end?

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:36 PM]

      our job got in the way of us hanging out. plus i think she was trying to tell me something and i had to be a good person and do my job damn it

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [11:40 PM]

      Sometimes that’s the best thing. You could always reach out to her.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [11:41 PM]

      maybe. i think she’s asleep.

 

      Amy’s about to turn in herself, but her work phone buzzes.

     

      From: Jake Peralta

      [11:42 PM]

      i liked hanging out with you santiago.

 

      Amy falls asleep smiling.

      (She forgets to tell Lover Boy about the text.)

 

      “Santiago!” Jake’s third jelly bean gets her attention, mostly because this one hits her straight in the forehead. She’s trying to avoid him while she tries (and fails) to come up with a way to say, _hey by the way I really like your face and your body and your hands okay?_ If she was Jake, she’d probably just say something like _romantic stylez_ and make sure that the _Z_ was plain and clear.

      “Seriously, Jake?”

      Before he can answer that question, Gina comes between them with the worst timing ever.

      “Amy - I have someone to set you up with!”

      Amy glances up. “What? I thought I told you I didn’t want to do anymore of your pity dates.”

      She had confessed to Gina that she hadn’t been dating anyone named Lover Boy, and she had been unbearable ever since. Just because Amy _wasn’t_ dating anyone, didn’t mean that she didn’t _want_ to.

      “You don’t need to tell me you need it,” Gina says. “I _know_.”

      “If I do this, will you get off my back?” Amy asks. “Like for real Gina. I’m tired of you being on my case.”

      “That was a great detective pun, I’m very proud of you,” Jake says. He’s watching their entire exchange with the typical Jake Peralta attention span. Which means that he’s currently trying to build a small tower of jelly beans and barely listening to anything else.

      “Do you think I should go on this date?” Amy asks him. She isn’t sure why she’s asking him. What does she want from that? Him to say _no?_ ( _Yes_ , her traitorous brain answers. Maybe Amy Santiago has a deeply romantic side after all.)

      “Do what you want,” Jake shrugs. Amy feels something like bitterness curling into her stomach. That’s _stupid_ she thinks. You shouldn’t feel anything at all, she thinks. It’s not like Jake knows or anything. It’s not like he has any right regardless to tell her who she should and shouldn’t date.

      What a stupid question for her to ask.

      “Fine,” she tells Gina. “I accept your date.”

 

      She’s going to put her all into this date, even though it’s the last thing she wants to do. That means heels and that dress Kylie swears makes her figure look like a hundred bucks. It means making her hair look like a goddamn cascading waterfall.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:20 PM]

      I may have made a mistake.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:23 PM]

      oh my god me too. shes going on a date and i acted like i was okay with it! who am i

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:24 PM]

      Well I actually am going on a date and he actually didn’t care that I was going on a date at all. So I can tell you right now that’s not the right approach. It sucks.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [7:25 PM]

      do u think its worth the risk of just telling her how i feel. i dont even know if she likes romantic revelations

     

      To: Lover Boy

      [7:26 PM]

      Probably. You seem like you love her a lot, and she’d be crazy not to love you back. Go get her. (And it’s hard to imagine anyone who doesn’t like romantic revelations.) Besides, if you truly fail there’s always alcohol.

 

      If only Lover Boy was in love with _her_ , she thought wistfully for a moment. She couldn’t help but wonder what it felt to be loved like that. Whoever this girl was, she was lucky. She hoped that she realized that too.

      She’s going to be twenty minutes early but decides it’s ultimately worth it. It’s better than staring at her phone and waiting to see if everyone else had a happy romantic ending without her. What was next, her ‘single as a Pringle’ brother declaring that he was going to actually settle down?

      Maybe she and whoever Gina had set her up with could go on a double date with Lover Boy and his girl. She locks her apartment door tightly behind her before stalking out with _purpose._ Jake Peralta aside, she was going to have nice time.

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:12 PM]

      i missed her. shes already on this stupid date and idk where it is

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:13 PM]

      like sorry to rant but also not sorry bc she’s absolutely my dream girl and now ive missed her forever and goddamn it. bc im sure whoever her date is will see that too.

 

      Turns out, a nice time isn’t entirely possible. Amy’s in the bathroom, trying to escape her incredibly awkward date. Apparently Gina thought that just because Amy was a nerd that she’d be into…well… the sort of nerd that generally needed to move out of their mother’s basement. The kind of nerd that needs to learn how to _take a shower._

      She’s frustrated. She feels like screaming because she wishes that she had been going on a date with Jake and doesn’t understand _why._ Or maybe she understands too much why.

      He’s her partner. She’s known him for _years._ She doesn’t need to worry if he’s hiding some weird secret from her because she knows almost everything about him. She knows more about his life than some of her brothers. She knows his favorite movie, how many books he’s read, what he likes to do to relax and the face he makes when he’s not.

      How could you know someone that well and _still l_ ike them?

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [8:14 PM]

      How do you know she’s your dream girl?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:20 PM]

      she’s smart and not afraid to back down from a challenge. shes such a dork and literally even the way she scrunches her nose is cute i swear. usually i tune out whenever someone starts to talk about books but literally i could listen to her talk all day and i dont understand y. she keeps me on my toes. i know like everything about her.

 

      To: Lover Boy

      [8:21 PM]

      It sounds like that should be pretty obvious.

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:23 PM]

      my friend rosa says its a miracle nobody else knows yet. apparently i am v obvious.

 

      Amy’s plotting on how to escape from the restaurant but freezes. _Rosa_? Her brain begins to make a frantic connection that she can’t quite comprehend.

      _Don’t be ridiculous,_ she tells herself. _Lots of people have friends named Rosa. It’s not like it’s a weird name._

      To: Lover Boy

      [8:25 PM]

      You never said what you did. Maybe it’s the stress of the job that’s throwing her off?

 

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:26 PM]

      im a detective

 

      Oh god, she thought to herself. Oh. My. God. It was Jake. Lover Boy was Jake Peralta. It had to be. How many detectives were there that had friends with the name _Rosa?_ That, and all the times she’d texted Lover Boy and seen Jake pull out his phone -

      She pulls out her work phone and clicks on Jake’s contact, pulling up his phone number and comparing the two. They’re exactly the same.

      “Oh shit,” she whispers to herself. “Oh my god. I am the worst detective.” And seriously, _fuck_ the two phone rule. That is probably the stupidest thing she’s ever done.

      Embarrassingly, she began to cry. Well, this was the end of her stupid crush on Jake Peralta. He was obviously desperately in love with someone from the precinct: maybe one of the cops from downstairs? It wasn’t like she paid attention to Jake all the time.

      Of course it was never going to be her. Why would it be?

     

      From: Lover Boy

      [8:27 PM]

      do u think i should try again w/ her?

     

      Amy hastily wipes away a tear. If there’s one thing she’s proud of, it’s her stellar moral compass. First, she changes his contact name. Then she rewrites the knowledge of this in her brain and promises herself that she can leave this restaurant with dignity.

      If liking Jake Peralta wasn’t apart of the Amy Santiago Brand, getting her heart so brutally destroyed by him certainly seemed to be.

 

      To: Jake Peralta

      [8:30 PM]

      You should go for it. You deserve to be happy.

 

      She means this of course. She’d always scoffed at this in movies: just tell him how you feel! In the end, it’s not that simple. It’s not worth complicating a good friendship because she might love ( _like_ her brain frantically corrects) him.

      She ditches her date and doesn’t even feel guilty about it. Sue her. She’s heartbroken, she thinks. She deserves to _treat herself._ Instead she grabs a cup of her favorite hot chocolate from the cafe on the corner and plans on tucking into her bed with her favorite Harry Potter book.

      She’s even gotten to the point where she’s kicked off her heels and is holding them by their straps. She’s pretty sure her mascara is smeared all across her cheeks and her hair is tangled but _who cared?_ She was being self pitying. Even the barista had given her a discount when she’d seen her approaching.

      _“Rough night?”_ She’d asked and Amy had nodded. A rougher night than anyone had intended, really.

      She thinks at first the person sitting outside her door is Kylie. It takes her a few seconds to realize that it’s not her because A, she hadn’t texted Kylie and B, it was obviously a guy.

      Which is why she’s instantly mortified when her brain makes the connection and finds Jake Peralta sitting outside of her apartment. He’s dressed in his usual work ensemble and looks really put together compared to her.

      “Jake?” she squeaks. “What are you doing here?”

      “I’m - are you okay?” He asks as he takes her in. He stands immediately and reaches a hand toward her to what? Comfort her? It simultaneously soothes the raging nerves and enrages then. Amy nods, feeling her chin wobble slightly like it does when she’s about to cry. “I’m fine.”

      “Are you sure?” Jake asks. “Did something go wrong on your date?”

      _Everything,_ she wants to say. Then she thinks: what is the point of pretending anymore? “Did she say yes?”

      “Did who say yes?”

       “I’m your fairy godmother apparently,” she says bitterly, pulling out her phone and waving it in his face.

      “ _What_?”

      “You know, when you were trying to text Kayla? You were texting my personal phone,” Amy says. “I didn’t know it was you, because we didn’t tell each other our names but yeah. It was me.”

      “That was - that was _you_?”

      “Apparently,” Amy says. “Did the girl you like say yes? Let me guess, it was Sandra from downstairs -”

      “ _Sandra_?”

      “It doesn’t matter,” Amy says. “I’m chill, bro. You know. Chill.” She takes a sip of her hot chocolate and promptly burns her tongue. _Smooth_ she tells herself. _Wow. How are you even single?_

      “Well how about you and your mystery man?” Jake demands. “Was it Chad?”

      “ _Chad_? My mystery man,” Amy scoffs.

      “Well then, who was it?” he crosses his arms over his chest.

      _Damn it all to hell._ She was done with not burning bridges for the sake of maintaining awkward friendships.

      “It was _you_ , you idiot.”

      Jake’s eyes go wide. “…Me?”

      “Yes,” Amy says. “I know. Whatever. We can just go back to forgetting about it now and I’m officially only going to have one phone now - “

      “But Ames - I was talking about _you_.”

      She blinks. Her brain is moving sluggishly. She can’t quite comprehend what he’s just said to her. When she finally gets around it to it she opens her and mouth and closes it several times.

      “Me?” she finally stammers.

      “Yes, _you_ ,” Jake says. “Oh my god. We are the worst detectives ever. It’s official.” He’s smiling for whatever reason, as if this is a massive joke. Was it April fools day today? She couldn’t remember.

      “But you can’t like me!” Amy protests loudly.

      “Oh I _do_ ,” Jake says. “I like _like_ you Amy Santiago.”

      “But all those nice things you said about her - “

      “Were about _you_ ,” Jake says. “I swear. I swear on my reputation as a detective.”

      “About me?” She asks, feeling another tired tear escape from the corner of her eye.

      “And all of your texts - those were about me? Including the ones where you said I was an idiot?”                 

      “I think we’re both idiots,” she says, rubbing her forehead. “Oh my god. We may as well hand the best detective title over to Rosa or Charles.”

      “Might as well march over to Holt and turn in our resignations now,” he says, and despite herself she’s laughing. She’s laughing, laughing, laughing. So hard that her stomach feels like it’s about to burst and then he’s laughing too and both of them are careening toward each other like magnets. It ends with Jake’s mouth being awfully close to Amy’s and Amy’s chest being awfully close to his.

      “I’m crazy about you Amy Santiago,” he says. “For real. And all of those things I meant, I _meant_.”

      It’s not eloquent, but Amy wouldn’t want it any other way.

      She remembers to drag him back into her apartment before she kisses him, real and properly.

      (Later, she says it back. “I’m crazy about you Jake Peralta. For real.”)

 

 

 

      To: Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago

      From: Gina Linetti

      [11:30 PM]

      if you guys aren’t together by now I’m going to riot. Also Jake, I have Kayla’s real phone number when you want it. If you want it. (She seems like kind of a bitch.)

 

      To: Gina Linetti and Amy Santiago

      From: Jake Peralta

      [11:31 PM]

      DO NOT TELL ME YOU PLANNED THIS

 

      To: Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago

      From: Gina Linetti

      [11:32 PM]

      i told Amy i had the perfect guy for her.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
